Death is a natural event.



Experts agree that children, even the very young, should not be shielded from the death of a loved one. Children have the capacity to recognize death as an event and the curiosity to ask questions about the event. The general advice is to talk to the child simply and truthfully about the death, in an age-appropriate manner.

Ask questions to determine what the child already knows about the situation. You may then explain the situation to them simply and honestly.

Allow children to ask questions if they want, but do not pressure them if they don’t respond.

For any age group, stick with truthful, simple answers in terms that the child can understand.

Talking to a child about the death of a loved one is never easy, but honest, age-appropriate conversations can help them begin to understand and process their grief. Children are naturally curious and may ask questions about what happened, where the person is now, or whether they will see them again. It’s important to speak gently and clearly, using simple words without confusing metaphors like “gone to sleep” or “lost,” which may cause fear or misunderstanding.

Let the child know it’s okay to feel sad, confused, or even angry—and that all their emotions are normal. Encourage them to ask questions and express how they’re feeling, and let them know they are not alone in their grief. Reassure them that they are safe, loved, and supported.

Up to 7 years of age, children see death mainly as a separation event. This may cause them to feel abandoned and scared. They may fear being alone, and may not want to sleep alone at night, or go to school.

Because children this young are usually not skilled at verbally expressing their feelings, they may “act out” instead, through behaviors such as temper tantrums, refusing to obey adults, or creating an imaginary life, accompanied by role-playing. Other behaviors, usually manifested by children between the ages of 2 and 5, may include eating, sleeping, toileting, or bed-wetting problems. Very young children under the age of 2 may suddenly refuse to talk, and become more irritable in general.

Children in this age group have begun to understand death as a permanent event. They may regard death as a more personal threat to their individual safety, develop a fear of dying themselves, or resort to “preventive” behaviors to “protect” themselves from death, such as aligning themselves with someone they think can protect them, or focusing on being “brave” or being “good”. Others may simply withdraw socially and/or emotionally from others.

Symptoms may include problems concentrating on schoolwork, trouble following directions, and difficulty in performing daily tasks.